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  • Scott Carter Cooper

Social Media Sucks

Social media is evil. All of the sites do two things. Steal time from you and destroy your will to live.

I deactivated, or at least tried to deactivate my social media accounts. The important people know how to get hold of me.


I stopped reading my social media feed a year ago. The posts I saw fell into one of these categories:


1) Oh my god! I can’t believe THIS wonderful thing just happened to me! I’m so blessed. And humble. Always remember that no one is more humble than I am.


2) This person I’ve never met just died and I am profoundly heartbroken. I can’t go on. The world is a darker place, but you can see just how enlightened and sensitive I am because I’m posting about someone I barely knew.


3) Hey you guys! I’m doing THIS!


4) Let me enlighten you on a point by pasting this article I haven’t read, but the headline is provocative enough for me to launch into a rant about my political views, which all really enlightened people, who already agree with me, share. But don’t you dare offer a counterpoint, or dare I say it – disagree – with me, because this is my page and I’ll say what I want, and if you disagree with me, I’ll get all of my friends to gang up on you and tell you that you’re morally and ethically wrong, wrong, wrong and that you should wither away and die.


5) “I have cancer.”


The only posts I found myself enjoying were pictures or videos of babies. Watching the one of the baby stealing her mother’s phone and then laughing maniacally while running away almost makes life worth living. But not worth maintaining a social media presence. The people who are important to me already know where to send the photos of their salads so I can live vicariously through them. If I'm being honest, I don't care what most of you eat anyway.


I’ll be back. I know this because I’m weak, with the moral fiber of a used paper straw. But for now, Facebook and Instagram will just have to spin the world without me. If you’re reading this post, you probably already know how to get in touch, if you feel the need. Talk to you then.

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